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Having been recently bereaved of a rather fine pair of sheepskin mittens, imagine my joy when a colleague of mine walks in waving them (on her hands) at me.  I’d left them in the toy cupboard apparently.  As wonderful as it is to work somewhere that has a toy cupboard, I probably shouldn’t get changed in there anymore. It just leads to days of heartbroken moping over a pair of 15 year old mittens – the best thing my mother ever gave me and I include in that comparison the gift of life itself. Because if I’d never been born I’d never have cold hands.

Before I started making resolutions and keeping them, anything I lost stayed lost.  Purses, phones, keys, bags, toys, jewellery, miniature doll house books, you name it, all irrevocably, irredeemably, indisputably lost.

Now, after a few years of building up the karma points, I’m cashing them in.

Last year, when I lost my friend’s apartment keys in Poland, hours later they were sitting right in the very place I’d been standing while photographing a church. Later that week when I left my bag in a bar (but certainly did not eat meat), there it was in the care of the bar staff, awaiting my return with all my possessions in order.

Last year, when I lost my passport and my phone within minutes of arriving in Napoli on my very first solo trip, they were speedily returned to me. So speedily in fact, that the first tears of despair were barely forming in my lacrimal glands by the time they were put into my hand by an incredulous member of the airport’s domestic staff. (Yes I did lose my passport in the arrivals hall, what of it?)

Last year, when I left my purse in a cafe in order to embark on a one-way 10 mile trek down Samaria Gorge, I noticed just in time to run back to the cafe and be greeted by a waiter who had obviously been instructed to look out for a panic stricken female tourist.

Just in December, on a beach on the beautiful island of Langkawi, I left my flip flops of 6 years behind while swimming and completely forgot about them when I went to dress for dinner. Returning later that night with a torch, I spied them on the sand outside Babylon’s Bar.

Consequently, when my mittens went awol, I truly believed I’d used up all my accrued karma points and would never see them again. Yet here they are, in the flesh.

image

Tim Harford would call this confirmation bias. But who cares as long as it works!

FRPs from taking leftovers to work instead of buying from the canteen: +0.8

FRPs from leaving my electric blanket on for 4 consecutive days (estimated at a rate of 50p per day): -0.2

General responsibility points (GRPs, narrowly avoiding the temptation to call them gropies) from leaving my electric blanket on for 4 consecutive days: -4

Career responsibility points (CRPs – career-based in-joke) for generally being ace and successfully interacting with other human beings: +1

Having already resolved not to sacrifice another ovine life by buying another pair of mittens: Karma points +1

Total so far:

  • Karma: +2
  • FRP: +22.2
  • Relationships: 0
  • Family: 0
  • Friends: 0
  • Career: +1
  • Fitness: 0
  • General: -5
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