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Some of the m[ind w]indmills keeping me awake this week:

Inexplicably, I completely forgot about the existence of my favourite web comic for about 3 weeks. Considering I have been a fan for at least 5 years, this is unfathomable.

You know that sinking feeling you get when you’ve realised the only thing for it is to unscrew the u-bend and remove the accumulated detritus by hand? How long can that task be successfully procrastinated?

Some people expect everything and give nothing. Which I can tolerate if said people have ever, in the duration of our acquaintance, made an effort to help me or even just be nice to me. Otherwise, you know that bit in Stand By Me where Wesley Crusher is pointing the gun at Jack Bauer? Remember what he says? Well, otherwise that. Still I expect I am one of those people so let’s avoid a kettle/pot situation and move on.

I ate my breakfast too early and then got so hungry I couldn’t have been held responsible for the lives lost if my stomach had decided to violently prolapse and drag some unsuspecting soldier into the soft-boiled depths of my alimentary canal.

The shoes, the beautiful shoes whose arrival I have been anxiously awaiting since before the new year, were sat in their box on the front stairs of my upstairs neighbour’s flat and I know not why.  A more personal affront I cannot imagine.  How long were the poor things sat there, in the cold and damp, waiting and wondering if I would ever come and love them.

Still, they are here now:

I will NEVER wear these.

All rather unsettling things. A state of unsettledness will be familiar to any obsessive compulsive upon sensing that the world is not entirely as it should be. I’d say most people, with your typical dirt and germs aversion, would find the situation with the u-bend most unsettling and would have dealt with it by now. My aversion to dirt takes the unfortunate form of never really feeling equal to the task of confronting it. I don’t want to touch it, I don’t want to look at it. I just want to look the other way and pretend it isn’t there.

Consequently, the most unsettling thing up there is the forgetting of xkcd. Maybe it could be explained by my getting a new phone, without the xkcd app already on it.  But I still had the internet!  The frightening thing is,  I didn’t suddenly just stop loving Randall Monroe.  No, I completely forgot he ever existed. I’d never before thought of myself as someone who only saw what was immediately in front on me, who bounced through life from one fascination to the next, never having taken even so much as a glance behind me.  I have long suspected myself of being rather shallow and could take comfort in the fact that at least it was a genuine lack of depth and not some affectation to appear the charming flirty scatterbrain.  But this, this is too much, what a crisis of confidence I find myself in.

At least I have my shoes.

Total so far…(no points to note)…

  • Karma: +4
  • FRP: +22.9
  • Relationships: 0
  • Family: +1
  • Friends: +5 [Supplementary PPs: +3]
  • Career: +7
  • Fitness: -6
  • General: -1