Just before I was about to be whisked away for my driving test, I thought I had a spare 10 minutes and it was as good a time as any to bawl my eyes out and get rid of some of the nerves. Rather inconsiderately, my driving instructor turned up 10 minutes early, leaving me no time to squeeze out even a single tear. Following my lesson, parked outside the test centre (where he realised he’d never tested my eyesight before) he probably regretted his precipitance. It was that moment I chose to burst into floods of uncontrollable years. He was clearly prepared for this very eventuality as he immediately reached for the box of tissues perched on the rear parcel shelf and started flinging individual paper handkerchiefs in my direction.

That was a very long time ago but I’m still the same. I always believe a pre-event cry does wonders but I never make the most of my chance to wring it out. I had all yesterday evening to do it, I even tried to grease the wheels with that (disgusting) glass of wine. But it’s never as easy as that. So I saved it for the day, as I somehow knew I would. Since I was always taught to laugh with those who are laughing and cry with those who are crying, I think I did the best I could do today.

I didn’t even know you could get little pink coffins.

Total so far…
[usual service resumes tomorrow]