Sometimes, I retrospectively horrify myself.
Like the time I was driving home through whatever county Bath is in and I was overtaking on a two way road even though there was traffic coming.
Or the time I was driving round a corner at the traffic lights and reached over to grab something that was falling off the dashboard, without straightening up and therefore driving right into the space a car would have been occupying if it had been waiting at the lights.
Or the time I got a biro lid stuck down the inside of my plaster cast and I realised I couldn’t get it out and I’d have to tell my mum and that if I’d known she was going to take me to the hospital to get it out I wouldn’t have told her.
Or, for instance, when people make me temporarily angry but I’ve already permanently burnt the bridges.
Or that time I was in Poland with…the thing and the thing in the thing.
Or at that house party….
Or like when I’m eating a meal socially, with other people, and I just reach over and take a piece of their food like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
It may not seem to you normals as if that should be as horrifying as the other things, but I’m in that compulsive minority of non food sharers unless by prior arrangement. Why then, do I feel it is ok when, were the fork in the other hand, I’d have to physically restrain myself from causing cutlery related bodily injury. It is just food, I’m well aware of that and maintain I am merely at the mercy of a vestigial reflex groomed for defending my rations from the hungry hoards of my childhood. However, I do suffer from painful bouts of food envy and how anyone in good conscience can enjoy their food under the cloud of my wistful and longing gaze I will never know.
What I’m really trying to say is, if I do it to you and you don’t mind, don’t try to use it against me at a later date. Or assume that it’s ok to reciprocate. If you do mind, maybe best not eat together. Or go splits on all the dishes.
The accidental creation of a new word is a joyous occasion and one to be celebrated. Having engorged myself with so much unshared food it hurts, I thought I should also mark the moment with a brief nod here:
Quantumplate > verb > to really, really think through the consequences of your decision before you act, analysing every possibility that might occur in all the alternative universes. See also: the Multiverse and the Trousers of Causality.
KarmaPs for having my debit card eaten by a cash machine: -1
FamPs for hanging out with the littl’un: +1
CRPs for pushing myself a wee bit: +1
Total so far…
- Karma: +16
- FRP: +153.1
- Relationships: +2
- Family: +6
- Friends: +9 [Supplementary PPs: +2]
- Career: +17
- Fitness: -3.5
- General: +9