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If you want to be able to walk past a building site without being harassed, or even noticed, it turns out all you need to do is borrow a baby. It works for other things too, like not being commented at by passers by you’ve never met before or not being accosted by someone who thinks issuing a vague susurration is the way to attract your attention for laughs, holding hands, maybe more.

What could the reason be when the person I am when pushing my god daughter in a pram is the same person I am when rocking a lot of polka dots on the way to the station or from the supermarket?  Possible theories include:

1) When with a baby, I am suddenly revered as a mother figure and accorded a sacred respect.

2) Being with a baby is an apparently obvious announcement of my unavailability – “Sorry fellas, this baby factory is spoken for. Your humourous attempts at sexual banter will not lure me into your sophisticated and masculine power…”

3) Announcing to the world that my reproductive organs might have been used for their intended purpose somehow makes their recreational use unappealing to your average construction worker or shopping centre loiterer, thereby making me no longer l’objet desire.

I’d welcome other theories on the matter, for the sake of saving time let us also say I have covered: 4) I’m just not that attractive, 5) The considerate constructor schemes are really starting to make a difference.

Whatever the reason, I love the results.  Friends, Romulans, country folk, lend me your babies, I’m going out.

GRPs for not letting the warm weather go to my head and blowing several tens of FRPs in the high street: +2

CRPs for giving a lecture on the representation of men and women in sexual health advertising at King’s College London and (hopefully) giving it relatively well (for a complete first timer): +1

FamPs for a delightful two and a half hours as the sole responsible party for my god daughter with no (count them: NO) dramas: +2

FrienPs for being helpful: +1

FitnePs for another run: +3.5

Total so far…

  • Karma: +16
  • FRP: +162.1
  • Relationships: +2
  • Family: +8
  • Friends: +10 [Supplementary PPs: +2]
  • Career: +15
  • Fitness: +3
  • General: +3
Lyric of the week: I should have known better but I got what I deserved.
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