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Every time I’m invited to a fancy dress event (and I say “every time” as if it happens a lot) my initial excitement is quickly battered into submission by the nature of the costumes out there. My only choices appear to be huge baggy novelty mascots which will bake me alive or skimpy, overly sexualised scraps of clothing which resemble more fancy undress than dress. Why oh why does ladies’ fancy dress have to be “sexy?” I say “sexy” because I don’t happen to find it particularly attractive.

Some might like it. That’s ok I suppose. The point is, these days, there’s meant to be choice. But there isn’t. The only easy-buy options are clearly there for the titillation of the male of the species. A hobby I don’t engage in.

I’m being lazy, I know. I could just stop complaining and make my own costume. But considering I can barely manage to work, study and keep a layer of filth from engulfing my hovel, that doesn’t seem like an option right now.

So, shoot me, I’ve succumbed. But at least the costume I’ve chosen actually resembles the thing I’m trying to resemble and not a “sexy” unnecessarily skin-baring version of it. It just so happens that I’ll be trying to resemble something in a leotard and a tutu…BUT I’ll still be wearing the wellies. I may be weak but I’m not stooopid.

You’ll have to wait until September for a photo of the finished article. If a handful of birds happen to have been killed in the making of this costume then I think I can say my work is done. I’ll take the hit to the karma points.

KarmaPs for choosing an animal unfriendly costume: -2

GRPs for not being able to apply cosmetics without dropping and breaking them: -1

FitnePs for another nothing: -1

Total so far…

  • Karma: +17
  • FRP: +106.8
  • Relationships: +6
  • Family: +9
  • Friends: +14 [Supplementary PPs: +2]
  • Career: +8
  • Fitness: -1
  • General: +1
  • Hospitality: +3
Lyric of the Week: I like to keep my issues drawn.