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I have to do something really important today.

No I mean it, really important.

Well, maybe not today but very soon.

And I’m avoiding it because I think I won’t be very good at it. Because I think it will be a struggle. Also, I’m avoiding it because I am mind, body and soul exhausted. I’m a nervous wreck today. My brain can’t hold a single thought steady for more than a moment. I’ve been stuck in hyper-vigilance for weeks. Every moment of sleep has been infested with dreams about work. Which means it’s not really sleep because I’m working.

What have I done instead? Just read a bit of the internet really.

I don’t think I’m cut out for this life. I need to drink, I need to be on drugs, I need to dance like a fool and I need to do it all until I fall into dreamless unconsciousness.

And I swear to [insert preferred deity] if I hear that alarm one more time, one more time

…I’ll probably just silence it, resolve the issue and carry on.

Or, most likely, cry a little bit inside.

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